I was listless and downright sad for most of last week. 

I missed everyone from Annie and I was utterly exhausted. 

The sun kept rising though.

One day for six hours of training, one day for mum to stay for her chemo and  oncologist meeting and one sunrise saw me helping set up for the Chaplaincy Book Fair.

There seemed to be no time to rest, reflect and gets my life into perspective. 

While I longed for the laughs of the green room, the days came and went and I re-familiarised myself with all the other wonderful people who are a part of my day-to-day life.   

Great people around me didn’t stop me pining for my singing and acting buddies though, as I stayed on top of the washing and lived on leftovers because I was too tired to cook. 

Ten days of staying up until midnight finally caught up with Tiani and I.

With everything seeming so difficult, sometimes even chocolate wasn’t enough to pull us through. 

Thank goodness I ran into some of the Annie team here and there. 

I didn’t think it was cool to burst into tears all over them, so I chose manic laughter instead, and sleep- deprived nonsensical gibberish.   

Anyone who mentioned the show to me in the supermarket or out and about was in danger of me clutching them by the collar and demanding detailed feedback – I managed to control myself, but the danger was very near the surface.   

I felt much closer to everyone who had seen the show, as if somehow they had a deeper insight into where my heart was at. 

Tiani saw some fellow orphans at school and in the toy shop, which helped her through the week, although they couldn’t chat, play or laugh as much as they had each time they spent seven hours together at the theatre for every one of those nine sell out shows. 

The four months of rehearsals really are now only fond memories.    

When the week was over and I had to return my cleaned costume, I found I really didn’t want to give back my tangible link to Annette, but it was time. 

And of course it meant I got to see a few other members of the team too! Time to consider the next “stage” of my life.

YOLANDE GROSSER