This is the question most often put to Rory Blundell, 20, when he gives talks to high school students about gender, sexuality and his own experience of coming out as a trans man.

Many young lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students find the concept terrifying, says Blundell, but their questions are difficult to answer because everyone's personal situation is different.

A new app and website lets young LGBTI people anonymously ask their friends through Facebook (or email or text) if they would support them coming out, offering a way to gauge how friends might react.

The "You're accepted" website, which can be used on any device, allows users to send a personally-composed, anonymous message to friends and family on social media, and read the positive messages they send back, including names of those who have written them.

It is a collaboration between national LGBTI youth organisation Minus 18, and advertising agency GPY&R Melbourne, which came up with the concept and developed the website pro bono.

It gives LGBTI people confidence by removing some of the guesswork in the process of coming out, says Minus 18 chief executive officer Micah Scott.

"Having just one supportive friend through the process can make all the difference," Scott says. "And coming out can be a bit of a snowball effect - the more people you know the easier it gets."

When Blundell, now a Melbourne University arts student and volunteer with Minus 18, was at high school, the teen told a close friend about having a crush on a girl in their friendship group.

Just minutes later his entire friendship group had found out, and at least one of his friends told the rest not to speak to him.

Blundell changed schools but still felt intense pressure to conform. He put on makeup, straightened his hair, and got a boyfriend. "I lived like that for so long it made me quite sick," he said.

It wasn't until he moved from Sydney to Melbourne for study that he was fully able to explore his gender identity, and come out as a trans man with the warm support of his partner and friends.

Being able to test the water online first would have helped, he says. "It's a really great way for people to sus out what kind of environment they have in terms of support."

What if the response from friends is negative? The platform is manually moderated and negative, homophobic or bullying messages aren't sent through. At the moment this moderation is done by staff at GPY&R, but Minus 18 volunteers will also become involved.

If someone feels like they need more support, the website links to a range of  phone counselling services and Lifeline.

Coming out through social media is increasingly common, says Scott. This avoids face-to-face rejection and allows friends to jump in and confront anyone who is being homophobic.

And it ranges from the overt (think personalised Youtube messages, photos of "I'm Gay" cakes on Instagram or lengthy status updates), to the subtle and tentative (sharing LGBTI-related material to gauge the reaction, for example).

The "You're accepted" site was first launched in April, with a publicity push this week to coincide with the international day against homophobia, transphobia and biphobia. To date it has been used by 150 people.

For help call Qlife: 1800184527 or Lifeline: 131114

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